Reuters recently reported that after the removal of the Federal speed limit, deaths in road accidents have risen.

Overall, Friedman and his team found that increased speed limits led to a 3.2% jump in road deaths. On rural interstates, car crash deaths increased 9.1%, while the increase for urban interstates was 4%.

Naturally, they are calling for the 55 mph speed limit to save lives and stop Global Warming (Praise Gaia and her anointed profit, The Goreacle. Hah-Men!).

In another story, researchers have found that drivers who text increase their chances of having an accident by 23%. The study doesn't address how texting gets drivers to go 65 mph. Clearly, more research is needed, since speed is what is killing more people on our highways, not any other event.

And finally, a Pennsylvania auto accident led to the bursting of a hose of the repair truck, leading to a hazmat shutdown of the road, and a worker using a jackhammer to repair the utility pole hit a water line. If only the speed limit had been 55 mph!

Planning some holiday debauchery that will imperil your chances to get into heaven? Visit these fine folks to reserve your spot in Heaven. That's right, just like you can pay someone so you can drive your Hummer and still be green, you can pay some one and sin and still go to heaven.

Who says Capitalism has no soul?

Having trouble staying focused at work? Why spend thousands of dollars on a drug to cure your ADD when you use these ten comebacks provided by MSN for FREE?

1. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response!"
2. "Whoa, I just had one of my psychic realizations: someone in this room is embezzling money!"
3. "What did you say about my wife!?" They will quickly repeat the question.
4. Raise your index finger to your lips and say, "Shhh, let's all just listen with our hearts for a moment. I think the answer will become obvious."
5. "I must have answered this question a hundred times in the last month! Doesn't anybody listen anymore?"
6. Act as if you are silently falling in love with the person waiting for your response.
7. Act as if you are going to respond, then pause to reconsider your response. Repeat for hours on end until quitting time.
8. Hang your head and say, "What difference does it make? We're all going to die anyway!"
9. "That may be true. Or not. What do you think, Ed?"
10. "I didn't hear your question; I zoned out. I was a million miles away. Which brings up a greater issue: what are we going to do to liven up these lame meetings?"

Walk or drive to reduce Global Warming?

Stolen from here.

Fortress AmeriKKKa - Day 455

In one in 10 US counties, we're going to have to start calling "minorities" something else, and start calling the Chosen Race a "minority," according to a CNN story.

As of 2006, non-Hispanic whites made up less than half the population in 303 of the nation's 3,141 counties, according to figures the Census Bureau released on Thursday. Non-Hispanic whites were a minority in 262 counties in 2000, up from 183 in 1990.

Prince William County in Virginia recently passed anti-illegal laws, alienating legal Hispanics. "Not only are we feeling less welcome, we are feeling threatened," said Teresita Jacinto, a brown-skinned teacher in Woodbridge, Virginia, about 20 miles southwest of Washington. Teresita was born in the United States--I'm sure the Minutemen or other members of the Chosen Race would tell you it was a scam by her parents or grandparents, whoever was originally illegal--to get free medical care.) and has been living and teaching in Woodbridge for 30 years.

That's how we'll run 'em off! Make 'em feel uncomfortable. Good job, Prince William County! You get the 2x4s for the crosses, I'll get the gas to soak 'em in!

Fortress AmeriKKKa - Day 444

Someone alert the Minutemen! Call the President! Call your pastor! English First/Only is in danger!

Time Warner Cable just updated our system and we have five, count them, five Spanish stations! In AmeriKKKa!

What's worse is that AmeriKKKan companies are selling their products using the heathen Spanish tongue! The same products they advertise on English Only channels! But instead of the favored race being depicted, they use people with brown skin!

Write your congressman! Write your mayor. Boycott any product that dares to advertise in any language other than English. Remember, if English was good enough for Jebus, it's good enough for Beaners.

Fortress AmeriKKKa - Day 443!

Hispanic Magazine, a publication that puts undue emphasis on people with brown skin, instead of the white American hue, has named Austin as a top place in the country for Hispanics to live.

We're gonna need a wall around Austin, now.

We had a good shower the other day. And we had a good parade.

Don't feel bad if you missed it. It's small. Every time East College Street floods, SUVs and pickups appear for a water splashing contest.

For those of you who may be unaware of the custom, allow me to describe it: people drive at or above the speed limit from Llano Street down East College Street to see if the vehicle will make it through the curb-deep water, and how far the water can be splashed into the the yards on either side of the street.

City pickups check the conditions, driving down East College Street with one door open to gauge the depth. When it is sufficient, high water signs are placed at East Travis and North Pine. This eliminates a similar North and South competition. Police vehicles never participate in, or even view, this competition. They just turn around and drive away.

One of my neighbors often participates in this activity, driving his pickup south on Lincoln to College Street, making a left turn, and accelerating rapidly east until high ground is reached, then turning around and driving west until he reaches North Llano Street, where he checks conditions on North Llano before returning to demonstrate his water spraying prowess a few more times before the water recedes.

So if you have a new SUV, come on out the next time it rains! We'd love to see new entrants!

"Are those decorations real?"

"Allow me to adjust your uniform."

"Can't. . .help. . .myself! Must. . .touch. . .boobies."

Your turn!

Sen. David Vitter, R-La., is mulling switching parties and becoming a Democrat, because a Democrat having extramarital sex is not committing a crime, a Republican having extra marital sex is committing a felony and is unfit to serve in public office.

"Liberals hold Republicans to a higher standard," he moaned. "Sen. Inouye was accused of molesting a masseuse by putting his hand under her skirt and NOW called it a political act and called the masseuse a tart. Bob Packwood got drunk and put his arms around women and he was hounded out of office. Robert Byrd was a member of the KKK and is considered a statesman. Strom Thurmond was a member of the KKK and was considered evil incarnate."

We have tried to contact Howard Dean to confirm the ruumor, but he has not returned any calls.