Saturday, August 02, 2008

There is not one politician who is concerned with your welfare. Not a fucking one. Obama isn't. Hillary isn't. And Ted Kennedy? Please.

All politicians care about is getting re-elected and protecting their own sources of income. And getting into the newspaper.

How else do you explain a politician like Illinois Secretary of State Jesse White, who has proposed banning texting while crossing a street?

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Welcome to Jebusistan!

I have blogged before about abandoning the sciences for the mystical. I have mentioned that some believe God can lower gas prices. Well, they're back, too.

God can't answer prayers. God isn't even powerful enough to create Evolution, how can he manipulate market prices. Hell, He can't even heal amputees!

Oh well, I, for one, welcome our new Fundamentalist Christian Overlords. As a valued member of the blogosphere, I can be useful in rounding up the non-fundamentalists to toil in your underground food caves.

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Monday, July 28, 2008

My grandmother died in March. I loved her, and I miss her, but she was a mean old lady. After she retired, she responded to every single credit offer that came her way. When she died, she had two fistfuls of credit cards that had been maxed out. My mom is the executor of the "estate," such as it is.

Last night, a collection agent called wanting their money. My mom told her that Grandmother didn't have an estate. She didn't have a will that was going to be probated. When the lady asked if there were any assets, Mom said no.

After she hung up, I reminded her that we did have assests: two thousand packets of Taco Bell Taco sauce, KFC ketchup and McDonalds honey mustard dipping sauce! My grandmother would clean out those little bins of condiments whenever she went to those places. And she would apparently buy those little tubs of cake frosting and eat them for dinner. 'Cause she had a hundred of them, each stuffed to the top with condiment packets.

Getting old isn't for the weak, but it sure is funny sometimes.