Teacher Rebecca Becker, 28, and teacher's aide Maria Zurita, 28, were arrested for boosting the self-esteem of two underage boys. In a curious twist, the pair of women are facing felony charges of third degree rape! For sex with mature teens! The authorities in New York should take a lesson from the California legal system. In Modesto, Anna Walker plead guilty to two charges of boosting the self-esteem of two teen boys and got 300 days in jail. That's 150 days for each kid. And as a bonus, she doesn't even have to register as a sex offender.

C'mon, ladies! Send your stories in to the Pete Townsend Teen Love Story contest! And make 'em steamy!

We have another candidate for the Pete Townsend Teen Love Story contest!

Joseph Tucker, 28, was arrested for boosting the self-esteem of a mature teen female student in St. Paul. At this stage, no one has been able to prove that force was used on the girl, making this the exact opposite of a crime, if you ask me.

We call on Mr. Tucker to send in his entry for the PTTLS contes. Way to go, Joseph!

First it was beer. Now it's tequila.

As demand for ethanol rises, farmers are planting more corn. In Germany, that means less grain being grown for beer. In Mexico, farmers are burning their agave fields and planting corn. So beer and tequila prices will soon be rising. And if you're a lo-carb dieter, be prepared to steak prices to go up for the same reason.

It's a perfect example of the Law of Unintended Consequences! In our desire to go green as quickly as possible, we will, essentialy, destroy other sectors of our economy. Just like when we replace our incandescent light bulbs with florescent. What will we do when mercury poisoning rates climb? And don't give me any of your crap about the low concentrations of mercury in these bulbs. If you are so concerned with your health that you're afraid of a single molecule of cigarette smoke, you should be concerned about the mercury in these bulbs.

A Daily Mail story is titled "Dyslexia 'is just a middle-class way to hide stupidity'."

Now, I ask you, how can you not read the article?

Doctors in England have not been able to find evidence that dyslexia is a medical condition, and suspect that it is really just a way to avoid calling someone unintelligent. Dyslexics have poor short-term memory, and have problems reading, writing and doing math. Supporters of the disease say that dyslexics are super-intelligent, but are unable to process information the way "normal" people can.

In other words, if your child isn't doing well in school, it's not their fault. They're actually very smart. But they have an illness that makes them appear stupid. If your child is hyperactive, bouncing off the walls, it's not because he's undisciplined. It's because he has a disease called ADHD. If he gets hooked on drugs, it's not his fault. He has an addictive personality. It's a disease. If your child is a tub of lard, it's not his fault. He is genetically predisposed to being "big boned." And when I say it's not their fault, what I really mean is that it's not your fault. You're not a bad parent. You just have crappy genes. And that's a disease, too!

I believe that ADHD, dyslexia and other learning disorders are related. I also believe that ADHD has been promoted by drug companies. In the 80s, there were ads for ADD drugs for your kids. In the late 90s, those kids had grown up and the ads were for ADHD drugs for adults. Why, if you took this drug, you will be a success at work!

But this lack of focus that ADHD brings isn't new. It isn't a product of our modern age. It's just the way our brain works. In Zen Buddhism it is called the monkey mind because of the way it jumps around. But we live in a drug influenced society. As the song goes, "everything you think, do, or say/ is in the pill you took today."

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. While you're sunning yourselves, if you are able, remember those who paid the ultimate price for your freedom to tan and drink.

If you have a loved one who gave their life for this country, we owe you a debt that can never be repaid. If you are currently serving in our armed forces, thank you. Keep your head down, and come home safely.