Break out the burkas!

The World Health Organization, who once released a study that said there was no direct evidence between environmental tobacco smoke and cancer with a press release touting the link between ETS and cancer, has released a new study that says as many as 60,000 people a year are killed by the sun. Compare that to the 3000 people a year who die from ETS caused lung cancer each year.

If you visit the CDC site, you'll see this sentence: ". . .premature deaths from smoking rob more than five million years from the potential lifespan of those who have died." The CDC now knows how long we will live! Why isn't the media reporting this? The CDC has to know how long a person will live to calculate how much of their life was robbed from them, don't they? Or could they be pulling the statistics out of their ass?

Anyway, as soon as we ban tobacco and alcohol, look for the "protect you from dangerous things" crowd to start work on making us work at night and stay indoors all day. You know. Like the teenagers these days and their danged vid-yah games.

A settlement has been reached in the Google Click fraud case. Google will pay $30 million and issue credits to adsense advertisers. The advertisers will get $4.50 for each $1000 they spent. The attornies will get the $30 million.

Some will argue that the attornies earn all that money because of their edumacation and that they are better than us. So, okay. I'll buy the arguement. But when the RIAA and MPAA sue someone, do they get the cash? If they do, why don't civilians?

Coming back from vacation is hard work! Once I unpacked, I opened the local paper and tried to catch up on what had happened while I was gone. A local man had driven to Houston to have sex with a 14 year-old girl, only to discover the 14 year-old girl was an armed man in his 40s.

Yet another idiot who doesn't watch the news.

Let me repeat this again:

1. Fourteen year-old girls who want to have sex with 30 year old men are like a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian; Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They are figments of your imagination. They are like unicorns. They don't exist.
2. If you find a 14 year-old girl in a chatroom who wants to have sex with you, she's a male cop.
3. If you arrange to meet said 14 year-old for sex, you are an idiot. And Idiots are often met by a large number of armed law enforcement officials.
4. Your ISP knows where you live. They keep track of what sites you visit. Your ISP, like phone companies, has no problem turning over their info on you to the authorities.

People have asked me if this applies to boys.

No. Fourteen year-old boys will have sex with farm animals. And hot blonde teachers. And if they score with the hot blonde teacher, they will be bragging about it in the locker room. Fourteen year-old girls who have sex with adults, on the other hand, are often manipulated and shamed into it. A guy'll just drop his pants.

All of the above flies out the window as the girls enter high school. Many of the girls I went to high school with wanted a boyfriend in college: someone older. And a teacher or coach fresh from college is close enough to their own age to be interesting. Which explains Bob Reno's BadJocks.com content.

So, men, what have we learned? Fantasize all you want. Right now, at least, it isn't illegal to think something (unless you hit someone of a different race, gender, or sexual orientation than you--then what you think is a crime). KEEP IT IN YOUR HEAD! Once you put it on paper, type it into a search engine, or download it from the 'Net it magically transforms itself from porn into evidence.

I have emerged from under the Cone of Silence at my nephew's house. He thinks cable Internet is too expensive and doesn't have a land line.

We spent the last nine days driving from Texas to Virginia to South Carolina and back to Texas. Three thousand miles, 50 hours, and thousands of swear words later, I swear to Jebus that I while I will travel again, while I will return via automobile to visit my family in Virginia, I will do my best to avoid any Interstate highway!

And in case anyone wants to know, it is 631 miles from the Abita Springs Brewpub to my house.