For the last few weeks, as I drift off to sleep after a long, hard day, i'll be jolted out of my pre-sleep drowse by a pain in my tongue.

Apparently, as I relax into sleep my jaw opens, and the side of my tongue slips between the teeth. Then, as I drift off, I clench my jaws together, pincing my tongue.

On the inside of my mouth, I must look lie some sort of retreiver with my tongue dangling on one side or other of my mouth.

What I don't understand is why it started in the last few weeks? When you turn 43, do the muscles in your mouth that control your tongue when your asleep go away? Kind of like the "Where's the remote? Who the hell put it here?" gene disappears from your brain.

Getting old sucks. I used to run to my car from the office when it was raining. Now I walk. It takes too long to get up if I fall down.

The Fundies must be in a quandry over this. An Oxford University professor speaking in Melbourne said that probability calculus showed a probability of 97 percent that Christ was resurrected.

Professor Richard Swinburne. . . said that the conclusion was arrived at after a series of complex calculations, which began with the probability of God's existence as one in two, that is either God existed or did not, adding that it was also one in two that God became incarnate. Arguing that the evidence for God's existence was an argument for the resurrection, and any evidence against God's existence was an argument against the resurrection, he said that the chance of Christ's resurrection not being reported by the gospels had the probability of one in 10. These factors, all coming together, if the resurrection was not true, were one in 1000, he said.

Silly Scientist! Probability calculus isn't in the Bible, therefore it is only a theory, and incorrect. Only stuff in the Bible is true and correct. He wasted all that time for nothing.

Credit card minimum payments are going up. Under pressure from the government to do something about the staggering personal debt that has hamstrung the economy, credit card companies will double their minimum payments. The good news is that it won't take as long to pay off your "Pile o' Debts"™. The bad news is, your employer isn't under pressure to give you a raise to help you meet your minimums.

It sure is nice of the Feds to think of Big Business' bottom line, instead of ours. I mean, first, they reformed the bankruptcy laws, making it harder for people, and (to be fair) companies, to evade their debts by filing bankruptcy. Then they make credit card companies double their minimums almost guaranteeing more bankruptcy filings.

If I was a conspiracy theory aficionado, a la Dale Gribble, I would finish by saying: All they have to do to completely enslave us is to pass no energy policy that will get us of foreign oil, keep gas prices up (so the gas companies can continue to make their record profits), and somehow force employers to cut wages.

James Doohan 1920-2005

Another old friend from my youth has left us. James Doohan the actor that portrayed Scotty of Star Trek passed away this morning from pneumonia, complicated by Alzheimer's disease.

Arguably the most funniest member of the original Star Trek cast, Doohan was my brother's favorite character. And I have to admit, it was often a tie between him and Kirk for me.

Forgive me if I feel a bit sad tonight.

BWAH! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Revenge is so sweet!

I once got into an argument with a NORML geek once about the effects of smoking. His position was that marijuana smoking was not harmful and therefore should be legalized; but tobacco smoking was harmful and should be banned. He didn't want to suffer through second hand smoke. My position was that if smoking one dried leaf was harmful then smoking another dried leaf was harmful as well. I pointed out that cigarette smoke, according to the Surgeon General's warning said "Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide." I suggested that marijuana smoke contained carbon monoxide, since carbon monoxide is a by product of combustion. His response, "There are no studies that show that marijuana smoking is harmful!"

BWAH! HA! HA! HA!

Here's why I'm laughing. A study has concluded that moderate pot smokers have reduced lung capacity, and have fewer cancer preventing antioxidant levels.

Now all those pot smoking anti-tobacco zealots have to quit smoking pot! BWAH! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

No. I am not bitter and I don't hold a grudge.

But seriously, I will be happy to support your goal to legalize marijuana, if you will stop being so hypocritical and support smokers' rights.

I don't beleive that so-called Hate Crimes should be considered more heinous then regular crimes. I think that these laws push us closer and closer to a kind of thought police described by George Orwell, bringing his world of 1984 much closer to reality.

Consider this scenario: A straight white male is walking down the street, when a straight white male jumps out from the bushes and hits him upside the head with a baseball bat. Plain old assault, right?

Change the first person to a person of color, and instantly, it becomes a Hate Crime. Change the person to a gay person of color and you've got a true, double-barreled hate crime. And since it's a hate crime, the penalties are harsher than for beating up a straight white man. The law punishes the criminal because of what he was thinking, in addition to what he did.

Now, if it is much worse to hit someone because the law has determined the criminal hates, what happens when someone murders someone "based on the actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation or gender identity of another individual or group of individuals?" Does the death penalty automatically kick in? Nope. (Well, except for the great State of Texas, where speeding can get you the death penalty.) Killing a straight white man and killing a homosexual person of color (either gender) get the same penalty.

Can a straight white man who hates his straight white neighbor because he plays his music loud all night long be accused of a hate crime if he kills him? I hate Michael Bolton. What if I killed him? Hate crime? Again, nope.

To commit a crime like those above indicates that you hate, or at the very least have an active disinterest in, that person. Making a person's private thoughts the basis for harsher punishments puts us on a slippery slope where disagreeing with the sitting President can be considered Treason. A thought crime is a thought crime, after all.

One of the benefits of getting paid every two weeks, is that twice a year you get three checks in a month. That means "extra" money. Before anyone says that it's not really extra, rest assured I understand that. But the extra check gives me padding to do something about bills. This month, I will pay about $500 on my Household MasterCard. That should get the balance down to about $550, which means I'll be able to pay them off on time! Then I can start paying $350 a month on the Chase #1 card.

I hope the light at the end of the tunnel ain't a train!

In a blow to green advocates and Americans who want independence from foreign oil, ethanol comes up short. It takes more energy to make ethanol than it produces.

TAANSTAAFL!

Tanjit!

I read way too much SF growing up.