Saturday, December 16, 2006

Franca and Antonia Munoz-Juvera are 26-year-old twins who work as teachers at the same California high school. Now both are facing felony charges resulting from a relationship with an underage girl. Franca had a sex with a female student. She was arrested and charged with lewd acts with a minor. Antonia, who lived with her sister with a roommate, was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Teachers of California are required to report incidents of child abuse. Their 18 year-old roommate was also arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Mmmmmm. Lesbians.

Burkas are the answer. Had Franca and the hot teen been wearing burkas, they wouldn't have been tempted to explore each other's bodies.

This case bears watching. While France isn't smoking hot, she is attractive. And despite the Hispanic name, she could pass for a legal. (That's for the Minutemen, who are protecting our country from the Brown Horde.) Will she get off light because she's white? Will she get off light because she's a woman? Or will she get a harsher sentence because her victim is female? Will we ever treat women like this a pedophiles?


Friday, December 15, 2006

Brandy Lynn Gonzales, 27, had her bail set at $320,000 for aggravated sexual assaults of five Houston students. From the picture in the paper, it looks like she will be getting jail time. Her hair is brown, her last name is not Anglo, and she's not hot. If she were Debra LaFave, she'd only spend a couple of hours in jail before being let off the hook with an apology full of batted eyelashes.

My only question is: why are they charging her for giving a boy oral sex? Former President Clinton has demonstrated that oral sex barely qualifies as sex. And don't give me any of that "person in power abusing their authority" crap. Clinton proved that doesn't exist either.

Had she been wearing a Christian burka, exposing only her eyes, she would be a free woman today. But no! She had to flirt with the boys in her class.

In related news, Johnny Gonzales, who "Clintoned" two of the boys himself, had his court date set for January 12. And they say there are no family values any more.


Thursday, December 14, 2006

Brtiney Spears apologized for flashing her vagina by saying it had been so long since she'd been out with friends. She says she a fan of Victoria's Secret, and while doesn't promise, she hints that she'll be wearing underwear from now own. That beaver flash had to be planned. "I ditched the loser husband," she must have thought, "now I can pull a Lindsay Lohan." (Don't click those last two links if you are offended by trailer trash acting without thinking. I don't intend to offend. I posted this links, and bookmarked them, to illustrate my point. Both of these ladies, and I use the term loosely (pardon the pun), are examples grass not growing on a race track.)

I remember when has-been celebrities used to pose for Playboy. Now, they leave their underwear at home and hope to spot some papparazi near some steps.

In related news, 61 year-old Bette Midler took a shot at Britney and Lindsay, calling them wild and wooley sluts. Bette said she had been wild, but always wore underwear. "And I'm wearing underwear, a lot of underwear. In fact I'm wearing all the underwear that those girls are not wearing - at least two bras and several pairs of panties," Midler added. (Oh thanks for that mental image, Bette!) Bette concluded, "I mean someone should sit those ladies down."

Um, maybe you should let them put some underwear on first, just in case the chairs are cold.


Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Fortress Amerika - Day 212!

Texas Comptroller Carole Keeton "One Tough Grandma who HATES Rick Perry" Strayhorn recently released a study that is the first attempt to show the effects of illegal immigration on the Texas economy. The Pew Hispanic Center estimates that Texas has as many as two million of the eleven million illegal immigrants in the United States. They contributed $18 billion to the gross state product last year, or about 2% of the total. "Undocumented immigrants produced $1.58 billion in state revenues, which exceeded the $1.16 billion in state services they received. However, local governments bore the burden of $1.44 billion in uncompensated health care costs and local law enforcement costs not paid for by the state," Strayhorn added. The net increase to state revenues came from payments such as sales taxes and user fees. Moreover, illegal immigrants make up 6.3% of the Texas workforce, and the study concludes by saying that the illegal immigrants contribute to keeping the value of Texas' exports high.

We have allowed illegals to work on farms and in restaurants for generations, and their hard work has contributed to the economy. It's a little simplistic to demand that it stop all at once.

But the problem can be solved without resort to a Great Wall of the United States. First, give everyone who wants to work and live in the US a guest worker card. Second, make it a law that you must have either a US passport or guest worker card to get a job. (The government is going to require passports for anyone returning from Canada or Mexico anyway. Might as well make everyone get one. Can you say, "May I see your papers?") Third, make it a real crime to hire someone without the card or proof of citizenship. $50,000 fine and 5 years in jail. Now, it's just a slap on the wrist fine. Fourth, end contract labor laws and make all workers in the United States pay into Social Security and, if they have children, make contributions to the local school districts. And Fifth, make guest workers and their employers make payments to MedicAid. Guest workers, by the way, would be excluded from minimum wage laws and would have to work 10 years before applying for citizenship.

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

For the third time this year, a man has been stabbed in the chest by a stingray!

On November 29, Danny Allen was working on a fishing boat off South Australia. A stingray caught in the nets was brought aboard and attacked him, stabbing him in the chest. Allen was taken to hospital (as they say Down Under), where he was treated and released the next day.

I'm telling you: They are coming to get us!

Steve Irwin was killed Labor Day weekend by a stingray barb. An 81 year-old Floridian was stabbed by a flying stingray.

I said it then, I'll say it now: To paraphrase Kent Brockman of The Simpsons: One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the stingrays will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new aquatic overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted blogger, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underwater food caves.


Monday, December 11, 2006

Scientific American has reported that kids are seeing too many anti-impotence ads. No word if they are immune to all the anti-depressant and sleeping pill commercials, but beer commercials will have to be marketed to adults from now on. They suggest that more birth control ads should be shown, and that kids should become media literate so they will be "immunized against commercials."

The best quote: "We'd like to see more birth control ads and less ads for erectile dysfunction drugs because it makes sex seem like a recreational activity."

Hey! We all gotta have a hobby!

Waitaminnit! Does this mean that ads aimed at adults influence kids? Does this mean that if a cartoon ad is aimed at adults, it influences kids? If so, then Joe Camel might not have been deliberate after all! Unlike Ronald McDonald and The King.