Friday, January 25, 2013

Ban Big Boobs Now!

The Huffington Post has been on the cutting edge of a disturbing trend: Women who have suffocated men with their breasts.

After an argument, Donna Lange threw her husband to the floor and smothered him with her breasts. In November, a German woman attempted the same thing, wanting the man to die is the best possible way.

And back in 2010, a woman having sex with her boyfriend accidentally almost smothered him, mistaking his spasms for orgasms. Fortunately he was revived. Check out the video!

Ladies, please. For humanity's sake! Don't make the government ban big boobs!


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The Perils of the Early Adopter

I wanted a tablet.

As much as I liked my iPhone, I wasn't sure I wanted an iPad. I also wasn't too comfortable with an Android device. So I bought a Dell Inspiron 10 tablet, mainly because I have a Dell account with a small balance.

So how is it?

With one exception, the hardware is great.  The exception? The USB ports won't read a single one of my flash drives.  Not one. I know they work, because the keyboard portfolio can be powered from it. The tablet has bluetooth, and it can pick up one of the AT&T phones in the house.  It doesn't pick up the keyboard portfolio either. (I tried to write a review on the Dell website, but when I wrote it was a piece of crap, Dell flagged it as containing profanity.  I changed crap to poo and it was acceptable.) Nor does it pick up my Backbeat headphones. Fortunately, the SD slot works, so I can put stuff on the tablet.

The main problem with the tablet is the software.  Big surprise, right? Windows 8 actually works pretty well. I like the way the tiles can be arranged and resized. I like that I can change the lock screen picture.  And while I can change the desktop image, I can't change the background the tiles are on. Poo.

Like other Windows products, 8 occasionally locks up and the tablet has to be rebooted. It's kind of inconvenient when checking your mail, though. Speaking of mail, Microsoft hates POP mail.  Windows 8 does not support the POP address your ISP provided you.

I tried downloading Open Office and Chrome, but guess what run on Windows 8?  That's right.  Both of them!

The Windows store seems full of apps. A lot of free ones, but ones that should be free cost $4.99.  I refuse to pay $4.99 for Angry Birds Star Wars edition!  I wish there were more useful apps. I have some great apps on my iPhone, but they don't seem to have Windows equivalents.

I've only had it a week, so hopefully, I'll get more used to it.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013


The Virginia Senate adjourned early yesterday in memory of General Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson. No mention of them burning a cross on someone's lawn.


Monday, January 21, 2013

Because Bubble Guns Are Evil!

A Pennsylvania kindergartner was suspended for telling another girl she was going to shoot her with a pink bubble gun. Because we all know using bubble guns leads to murder. Allegedly, the five year old doesn't even own said bubble gun.
Someone tase this bro, now!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Ban Teenage Girls Now!

Three teenaged girls attacked a woman in New Windsor, New York this past Tuesday, as she put her child on a school bus.  Calling it "mobbing" or "popping," the girls told police that they picked the victim at random, and just for fun beat her repeatedly.

Post-Newtown solution: We need to ban teenage girls to keep Americans safe.