Fortress Amerikkka - Day 409

In an effort to prevent more illegal brown-skinned people from coming here, the United States has illegally seized about 5000 square meters of Mexican soil and fenced it off. Mexico has asked that the land be returned.

To be fair, it is the result of an illegal 1800s land grab by a white ranch owner in New Mexico, who put his fence up south of the border by mistake, and the government just followed the fenceline, rather than obeying the law and getting a survey. So the irony of the US building an illegal fence to keep illegal immigrants out is amusing.

Fortress Amerikkka - Day 408

Recently, rocker and outspoken conservative Ted Nugent was interviewed by Texas Monthly, and he chimed in on the pogrom against illegal aliens. Basically, he said he understood that people wanted to come to Amerika to enjoy freedom, but they should learn English.

Sounds reasonable. So reasonable, in fact, that according to a United Way of Salt Lake survey, more than 80 percent of immigrants and refugees have tried learning English, but keep running into some problems. And, what a coincidence, they have some of the same reasons I don't take continuing education classes: A lack of time, Difficulty, lack of child care, and fear. I don't have kids. Child care ain't an issue for me.

"What was striking is the difficulty to survive and trying to learn a language at the same time," Bill Crim, United Way's strategic initiatives and public policy director, said.

I had the same problem trying to learn German in high school (and I live in a German community) and French in College (I didn't like the German professor in college).

Most immigrants learn survival English. Unlike Amerikans who travel and assume that if English is spoken slowly and loudly, everyone will understand.

Then again, this ain't about French. No one is complaining about the Quebecois trying to get everyone to speak French. It's about poor, brown skinned people who speak Spanish. Rich, white skinned people who speak Spanish aren't a problem at all!

Bullshit Alert!

I've been watching the previews for Live Free or Die Hard. Apparently, scenes showing people outrunning fireballs are, finally!, are no longer enough. The TV trailer shows a jet fighter flying behind a truck, and barely keeping up, then shooting a missile. I'm waiting for the next summer blockbuster to see someone outrunning a jet fighter.

This is a banner day, folks! Two more entrants in the Pete Townsend Teen Love Story Contest from the same case!

An unnamed 38-year-old female substitute teacher at Prescott Middle School in Prescott, Wisconsin, has been fired after being caught boosting the self-esteem of a mature 13 year old boy. Late one night, the boy stole his mother's car and drove to the teacher's house, where, instead of boosting the self-esteem of the teacher's 13 year old daughter, who he had been dating, he got his self-esteem boosted. Unfortunately, the boy's father followed him and caught them mid-boost, so to speak.

We'd like to congratulate the unnamed mature teen boy for being the first in our parade of Teen Love Stories to have bagged both the mother and the daughter! We hope he sends his scintillating tale soon. We'd also like to congratulate the mom for bagging a mature teen in his sexual prime. Please send us your account of this steamy affair.

To the 13 year old daughter: We're sorry your mom is a MILF.