I had a discussion with an English-firster the other day. He used the "Immigrants should have to learn English when they come here" argument, so I thought I would help out all you English speakers with some basic Comanche phrases. After all, they were here first, and we should have learned Comanche!

Comanche	English
haa	yes
haamae	please
kee	no
nu nahnia tsa	my name is
u nakiupanaitu nu	I understand you
unha nu nakisupanainu	Do you understand me?
enha hakai nuusuka	How are you?
tsaatu untse	Fine and you
unha numu tekwaegu	Do you speak Comanche
yuhu taibo tekwapu	Spanish Language
taibo tekwapu	English Language
numu tekwapu	Cherokee Language
ura	Thank you.

You're welcome.

Fortress AmeriKKKa - Day 835

The LPGA, facing an deluge of yellowskins in their number, is looking at ways to get rid of them. As more South Koreans join the tour, threatening the livelihood of God's Favorite People, the LPGA is requiring that all members be fluent in English. Sure, they say they want the players to give interviews and acceptance speeches to the media in English, without the aid of an interpreter, but we all know the real reason: to eliminate the foreigners from competition.

Look, if I were the manager of a hot, Asian female golfer, I would encourage her to study English so that she could cash in on her skills by courting advertisers. She would earn more money, I would earn more money. See? The Free Market at work! Any professional athlete who wants to play in the US should speak English, if for no other reason that to fit in, but they shouldn't be required to speak English. Does the Japanese baseball league require their token Americans to speak Japanese? No, they don't, and the Japanese are more insular than we are becoming.

Fortress AmeriKKKa - Day 717

For many years, Edgerton High School in Wisconsin has allowed students in its Spanish class to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish over the Intercom one day of the school year. Only one day. And these are not meskins, but white kids learning Spanish.

This year, everyone is all agitated about it. “This is America; we speak English,” said Todd Dix, a retired from the National Guardsman. Another, unnamed intellectual said, "I go to Edgerton High School and I don’t appreciate Mexicans saying the Pledge in Spanish. . . . If you think Mexicans can waltz right in this school and have an influence on these American students, then you’re wrong. This is America, home of the free and not the illegal."

There are over 100,000 Hispanics serving in the Army, and George W. Bush had the National Anthem sung in Spanish at his inauguration in 2001. And the Wisconson constitution is written in English, German and Norwegian. Superintendant Dr. Norman Fjelstad, who has had his life threatened, said, "The reason it was written in three languages is because it’s important that people understand the words."

I guess now, you can only love America in English, even if you are a white high school student in Spanish class.

Two feuding brothers in Mexico have doomed their native language. The brothers, who haven't spoken to each other in a while, are the last speakers of Zoque, a native language in the Tabasco region. As a result, the language is going extinct.

I don't know why everyone has their panties in a bunch. They should be learning English anyway.

Fortress Amerikkka - Day 408

Recently, rocker and outspoken conservative Ted Nugent was interviewed by Texas Monthly, and he chimed in on the pogrom against illegal aliens. Basically, he said he understood that people wanted to come to Amerika to enjoy freedom, but they should learn English.

Sounds reasonable. So reasonable, in fact, that according to a United Way of Salt Lake survey, more than 80 percent of immigrants and refugees have tried learning English, but keep running into some problems. And, what a coincidence, they have some of the same reasons I don't take continuing education classes: A lack of time, Difficulty, lack of child care, and fear. I don't have kids. Child care ain't an issue for me.

"What was striking is the difficulty to survive and trying to learn a language at the same time," Bill Crim, United Way's strategic initiatives and public policy director, said.

I had the same problem trying to learn German in high school (and I live in a German community) and French in College (I didn't like the German professor in college).

Most immigrants learn survival English. Unlike Amerikans who travel and assume that if English is spoken slowly and loudly, everyone will understand.

Then again, this ain't about French. No one is complaining about the Quebecois trying to get everyone to speak French. It's about poor, brown skinned people who speak Spanish. Rich, white skinned people who speak Spanish aren't a problem at all!

Fortress Amerikkka - Day 313!

A bill to make English Idaho's official language passed the legislature last week and Governor Butch Otter has said he will sign it. The bill will require that official government business will be done in English, except for education, public health and public safety.

Um, excuse me. Isn't education, public health and public safety pretty much what state governments do? So when exactly will they be speaking English? In the legislature? They do that now.

This is perfect legislation for the Minutemen and English Firsters. It makes them feel good and doesn't do anything else. That'll teach them Meskins. They won't be able to listen to the debate on the laws that affect them, but we'll explain it to them when it passes.

"My parents made the same commitment that this bill states," said Representative John Vander Woude, whose parents emigrated from Holland to the U.S. "We are not trying to bar foreign languages from the classroom or from the home."

Then what is the point of the bill? To make everyone speak English, except in school, at the hospital and the police station? Police conducting a traffic stop will be able to speak Elbonian, but the poor Elbonian won't be able to speak it when he gets his license?

C'mon, Idaho, Be Brave! Ban the use of all languages except English in any government funded setting!

If any of you doubt that the anti-illegal immigration and English First forces are racist, here's an interesting story. Rep. Tom Tancredo, the leader of the anti-illegal immigration faction in the U.S. House, said Miami has become a Third World country, and is an example of how the nature of America can be changed by uncontrolled immigration.

Hmmm. America is becoming a bit too brown for Rep. Tancredo, I guess. He's offended by the Spanish being spoken. Here's hoping he doesn't visit Acadiana or San Francisco's Chinatown. He'd be really pissed!

Congratulate the Minutemen! They have Succeeded!

According to UT German Linguistics Professor Hans Boas, Texas German will disappear in about 30 years. The English First campaign has succeeded in wiping out a once vibrant language, and they deserve our applause. They have stomped it out of existence! Hooray English! Now the krauts will speak English and be indistinguishable from real English Americans!

Now! Let's get to work on the brown skins!

Thank goodness that we are starting to enforce English in law enforcement. They are dropping the "Ten Code" in favor of plain English. If only we can get the brown skins to use it!

Fortress Amerika - Day 184!

The city of Farmers Branch, Texas is about to pass a ban on illegal immigrants. You want to work in Farmers Branch? Have your passport ready. You want to live in Farmers Branch? Make sure you have your birth certificate.

Why am I the only one scared by this? Since this is Texas, we "know" who the illegals are supposed to be: brown skinned people. No one is looking for illegal Canadians! So the only way that business owners and rental property owners have to determine who might be illegal is to judge by the color of their skin! Some Hispanic families in Texas can trace their ancestry back to before the Alamo. But because they have brown skin, we are going to treat them like they are illegal. That, dear readers, is pure and simple racism.

"...everybody is bilingual," said Susie Hart, who grew up in Farmers Branch, during a recent demonstration outside Farmers Branch City Hall. In Texas, the road signs are in English. In Louisiana, down in Acadiana, the street signs are in English and French. Would Susie Hart be complaining about bilingualism in Lousiana? Here in Fredericksburg, Texas, which was founded by German immigrants, if I were to greet her with the traditional, "Wie Geht's?" would she be offended? If she went to dinner at Prejean's Restaurant in Lafayette, Lousiana, and the hostess said, "Bon soir," would she be complaining that everyone was bilingual? NO! The person who said "Wie Geht's?" or "Bon soir" would be white, and Susie wouldn't have a fucking problem with it! But if she walked into a Mexican restaurant, and someone said, "Hola," she'd be on the phone to INS!

And, let us hope she never, ever visits Hawaii! The signs in English and Japanese would drive her nuts!

UPDATE! The Farmers Branch City Council decided that illegal aliens can work in Farmers Branch but can't live there. They exempted business owners from the ordinance. Imagine my surprise. I bet every restaurant owner went to the City Council and said, "I can't afford to hire American Patriots at my restaurant. They want too much money!" Big Business wins again!

The Language War is about to heat up. New Zealand high school students will be allowed to used "text speak," the second language teenagers created to use in text messages, in their exams, as long as the answer demonstrates the required understanding of the subject matter.

A story headlined OK 2 use SMS lingo in exams even features two nifty examples: "We shal fite dem on d beaches" (Sir Winston Churchill) and "2b or nt 2b" (Shakespeare's Hamlet).

Predictably, this has angered people who believe that the English language is a monolithic thing that does not change and youth should use proper English, and those who say that text speak is part of English's continued growth as a living language. Not 20 years ago, the word "gift" was only a noun. Slowly, it became a passive verb, i.e., "The principal was gifted with a new car." It still sounds stupid and uneducated to me, but it is in every newspaper at least once a week. If we can have those tortuously constructed sentences, why not the more elegantly simple "2b or not 2b?"

Fortress Amerika - Day 177!

All right, now. All you people who demand that illegal immigration has to be stopped now, dammit had better register for this site! Before you hire someone to do rock work around your house, you had better pay your dues watching the webcams. And make sure to check the immigration status of the people on your property that you or your contractor hires, or else you're a hypocrite.

Sigh.

Remember the days when people stayed up late watching porn on their computers?

I got this email from someone who thinks I'm someone else:

Our granddaughter in California was turned down for a teaching job, because she only had one yr. of Spanish. She got a job at a private school. She now teaches in Rancho Cucomonga, second grade.

Had an interesting conversation with a lady of Hispanic origin last week. She told me that she planned to come down to St. Mary's and get a job in Admissions (where I work). When I pointed out that we didn' t have any openings, she advised me that "soon" current employees will have to be fired to hire bi-lingual employees. According to this lady, the Spanish-speaking people of the US are going to demand that all public facilities like hospitals, courthouses, etc. - be staffed by people who read, speak and comprehend Spanish.

We hear about the silent majority, but I think we are going to have to speak up or find ourselves a conquered country. That would be an interesting historical note - greatest land in the world conquered by Mexico without ever firing a shot! Think about it. Petition to require citizenship to be eligible for social services in the United States . No amnesty and no free services for illegal immigrants.

I the undersigned below, agree that we need to keep English as our primary language and those who live in our country need to learn ENGLISH, not make the US citizens conform to Spanish.

ONE NATION UNDER GOD!!

Personally, the only thing that scares me more than a Fundamentalist preaching Intelligent Design in our schools, is folks who demand that English First laws be passed.

These folks believe that democracy should prevail, and that since there are more English speakers, we should vote for English. But white people are the minority in four states. (Sorry. I don't know how else to describe these people. They aren't worried about the French or the Germans. No, they're worried about Meskins coming along and messing up the place.) The only problem is that since white people are having fewer children, and Hispanics, well, aren't. And, as Hispanics become the majority, they should, by the same reasoning, demand Spanish First laws. And if the majority of people are Catholic, then Protestantism should be outlawed. Democracy is democracy after all.

And if they really wanted this to be one nation under God, they would demand that we speak in Aramaic, since that's what Jesus spoke.

The author of the piece (not the person who sent it to me, apparently), believes that the only way Spanish should be accepted north of the Rio Grande was the way we got English in here: by open warfare.

The Minutemen are falling down on the job. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, the population of Chicago is 26% Hispanic. This is a huge failure on the Minutemen's part. They let brown skins in.

Here's a quote from their web page: "I truly believe if we aren't careful, they're going to take us all over and we're just going to be standing there thinking, 'What happened?'" the longtime Dodge City resident [Evelyn Fulton] said. . . peek below the surface, and some speak of a "reconquista," that is, some sort of reconquest of parts of the United States - vast stretches of which once were in Mexican hands - by illegal immigrants from south of the border.

The founder of the Minutemen, Jim Gilchrist, has written Minutemen: The Battle to Secure America's Borders, which is mis-titled. It should be Border, singular. The Minuteman project isn't interested in the Canadian border, which the 19 9/11 hijackers crossed. No. They're trying to prevent reconquista. And they may have more trouble preventing it than they know.

Hispanics continue to be the nations largest minority at 14.5% of the population. Blacks are 12.8% of the population. Hispanic, by the way, refers to anyone from Spanish-speaking countries of any race. Most Hispanics in the United States are white. When Gilchrist talks about the numbers of white people shrinking, he is referring to non-Hispanics only. In fact, English-speaking white people are minorities in 4 states: Hawaii, California, Texas and Florida. (Thank you, CNN.) Sounds like it won't be long that the Minutemen will be watching the Red River instead of the Rio Grande.

Fortress Amerika - Day Twenty Four: English First!

I went to a restaurant the other night and had the most horrible experience!

I was in the mood for ethnic food, so I picked a restaurant with a good reputation. My first hint that the evening would be a disaster should have been seeing that the restaurant didn't have an English name.

We were seated quickly even though the restaurant was busy. The waiter handed us our menus and we hit the first stumbling block. None of the dishes had English names! How in the world can you expect Americans to order when the menu isn't in English? I summoned the waiter over and he translated the menu. When he walked off, he and another coworker began conversing in their language. Right there in front of all us Americans! How Rude!

I was livid at that point. I called for the manager. When she arrived at tableside, I started my complaint: "How dare you come to this country and use a foreign language! This is America! SPEAK AND WRITE IN ENGLISH! My ancestors came to this country, and they learned English, [I didn't mention they were from England, and that they arrived on the Mayflower.] why can't you? Write your menu in English! Make your employees speak English! Don't come here and expect me to learn your language!"

The manager smiled ruefully and apologized. Then she said, "Perhaps zee next time, m'siuer, you should not come to Chez Pierre."

Fortress Amerika - Day Twenty-Two!

Geno's Steaks, in South Philly, has an English Only rule. Joseph Vento, Geno's owner, insists his customers order in English. No pointing at the menu items. "Speak English," a sign at Vento's popular, curbside counter reads. Say "Fromage-avec, s'il vous plait," and you'll be asked to leave. They will only accept "Steak-wit'," which, of course, is not correct English, but will get you a mighty fine sammich.

Here's a story about the fallout of Geno's policy.

Texas has become the fourth state to have minorities outnumber the majority. According to a Chicago Sun-Times story, minorities in Texas are 50.2% of the population. While Texas wasn't the first to reach this notable milestone (California, New Mexico and Hawaii beat us to it), at least we are ahead of Maryland, Mississippi, Georgia, New York and Arizona.

It's nice to see texas at the top of one of these lists. We've been at the bottom of the education list forever.

But, I guess I need to make a few changes to the blog. So in the words of Kent Brockman: "I, para uno, dan la bienvenida a nuestros overlords nuevos [ de la minoría ]. Quisiera recordarlos como una personalidad confiada en de la TV [ o blogger ], yo puedo ser provechoso en el redondeo encima de otros a trabajar en sus cuevas subterráneas del azúcar."

Translation by BabelFish.

For those of you too lazy to cut and paste and let Alta Vista do the work for you, here's the translation:

"I, for one, welcome our new [minority] overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality [or blogger], I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves." -- Kent Brockman and me