Thursday, November 06, 2008

I am still waiting for the first "unicorn and rainbow" story (a story that tells us how much better the world is now that Obama is the President-elect). When Clinton was elected the first time, he ran on the premise that we were in the worst economy in 40 years. Shortly after election day, the Fed released economic data from the previous quarter that showed things had improved. Clinton was quick to claim credit, saying people were optimistic about his potential presidency. I haven't seen the Obama equivalent, yet, but I'm sure it's coming.

I must say that the blogosphere yesterday was full of people laying back in their beds, smoking cigarettes in a post-orgasmic bliss. Some moron posted a comment on the Fox News website suggesting Obama should take a convertible through Dealy Plaza on November 22. Predictably, everyone is outraged. Even the folks who forwarded the Bush assassination video to everyone in their inbox, with the comment, "If only this were true."

So have an Obama day everyone!


Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Thank goodness, the election's finally over! We can have our TVs back and hear something besides how swell Obama is. Well, not really over.

First, since the Democrats have recovered control of the Congress, they can once again be the party lobbyists target with their large piles of cash, leaving the poor Republicans who won't get as much money complaining and accusing the other side of corruption. In other words, things will be pretty much the same as they have been in Congress.

Second, after the inauguration, we will get a steady stream of stories telling us how swell Obama is. Bluebirds will sing, clouds will part and the US will become a paradise. Same thing happened when Clinton was elected. Then the midterm elections will come and the bloom will be off the rose and, the honeymoon will be over.

Third, since some folks still pay attention to this sort of thing, Obama, being African-American, will be under heavy press scrutiny since every thing he does will be a first. First African-American to have Hail to the Chief played for. First African-American to complain that Congress is out of touch with the people. First African-American to tell us that the sacrifices he mentioned on the campaign trail are really new taxes. And first African-American to make a token effort to fulfill the empty promises made on the campaign trail. I've seen it all before, but never coming from an African-American president.

Fourth, now that the Republicans are out of power, the MSM will turn against the Democrats and begin reporting on the corruption in that party. That's the "All-The-President's-Men Syndrome."

And Fifth, we will all learn, once again, that the President really doesn't have that much of an impact on legislation, as Congress begins shooting down Obama's reforms.

In other words, things will stay the same. Only the players have changed.

Remember: You heard it here first!


Monday, November 03, 2008

Once upon a time, the Israelite were slaves in Egypt. (Stop me if you've heard this.) Some guy named Moses killed a bunch of Egyptians and the Israelites were allowed to leave and walk back to Israel. Now, at first, the Israelites were so happy that Moses delivered them, they worshipped his God. But it's a long walk from Egypt to Israel. Moses went up on the mountain. He was having a meeting with God, who had some new rules he wanted posted by the water fountain. He was gone so long, that the Israelites started worshipping a golden calf. When Moses found out, he got so mad he broke the stone memo God had written, put them in a box that Indiana Jones would store in a big warehouse.

I might have mixed up both movies.

So then why are upstanding Jesustanis praying at the foot of the gold bull on Wall Street? I thought that was like number two on the list of things not to do. Next thing you know, adultery will be okay.

(Photo by Wonkette operative “Dan the Man”.)