Once upon a time, the Israelite were slaves in Egypt. (Stop me if you've heard this.) Some guy named Moses killed a bunch of Egyptians and the Israelites were allowed to leave and walk back to Israel. Now, at first, the Israelites were so happy that Moses delivered them, they worshipped his God. But it's a long walk from Egypt to Israel. Moses went up on the mountain. He was having a meeting with God, who had some new rules he wanted posted by the water fountain. He was gone so long, that the Israelites started worshipping a golden calf. When Moses found out, he got so mad he broke the stone memo God had written, put them in a box that Indiana Jones would store in a big warehouse.

I might have mixed up both movies.

So then why are upstanding Jesustanis praying at the foot of the gold bull on Wall Street? I thought that was like number two on the list of things not to do. Next thing you know, adultery will be okay.

(Photo by Wonkette operative “Dan the Man”.)