Thursday, October 05, 2006

Once more, a Muslim cleric has decided to disprove the stereotype that all Muslims are reactionary and homicidal by ignoring the Pope, who quoted a Middle Ages writer back in September, and by demanding tolerance of all viewpoints.

Just kidding!

A fatwa has been declared on the pope.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Hmm. Last year at this time, Global Warming ("Praise Gaia and her annointed prophet Al Gore!"©™ Hahhh-Men!) and George Bush were being blamed for Hurricane Katrina's destruction of New Orleans. Earlier in the year, Global Warming worshippers were telling us how bad the hurricane season would be.

Thank Gaia we have Global Warming ("Praise Gaia and her annointed prophet Al Gore!"©™ Hahhh-Men!) to push all the hurricanes into the middle of the Atlantic!


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Why is a male pedophile worse than a female pedophile? Mary Kay Letourneau molests a kid and gets a dozen TV movies made about her, and has TV carrying her fucking wedding! Will Mark Foley get a TV movie?

Cameo Patch blew a kid, and got no jail time! Foley wrote about blowing a kid, and he'll probably wind up in "pound me in the ass" prison.

A pedophile is a pedophile. It shouldn't matter what sex they are or what political party they belong to. They are criminals and should be jailed, not obsessed over like a D-list celebrity!


Monday, October 02, 2006

One of the best parts about this time of year is that the temperatures have cooled off. One of the worse parts about this time of the year is that this is the beginning of the high tourist season. And, unfortunately, the quality of the tourists we get seems to be falling.

Most of them can't read. When they make a reservation with us, we mail or email a confirmation letter with a map to the house and the key arrangements. Naturally, every Friday, about half our guests call to ask, "Where exactly are you?"

"We're at 231 W. Main Street."

"No. Where axactly? What is the nearest cross street?"

About 10% of customers call with this complaint: "I'm at 231 Main Street and your office isn't here!" (Never mind that we answered the freakin' phone!) When we determine that they are 231 East Main, and tell them they are four blocks away, they get mad at us! I even had one customer demand that I be fired because when I told her we were by the winery, she went to the brewery, and that wasn't a very nice joke!

Another 5-10% call us as they roll into town, asking for directions. They will call one or two more times as they pass an intersection to see how much farther they have to go.

But the most annoying calls are from people on I-10 heading west. Once they get a couple miles out of San Antonio, they call us up to find out what exit they should take. We'll tell them take the 87 North exit, labelled Fredericksburg and San Angelo. "What number?" they ask. "I'm sorry, I don't know the exit number, just look for the sign that says Fredericksburg and San Angelo and says 87 North." "How do you expect me to find the exit if you don't give me the number?" I want to say, "You can't get 250 miles from your house without calling for directions? I drove 1500 miles with a piece of paper called a map and only missed one freakin' turn! Stop at the next truck stop and buy one of those things!" But of course, I can't say that.

If you are going to travel, even for the weekend, please, think of me and get a map. Plan your route, and leave the poor hotelier alone!