Brandy Lynn Gonzales, 27, had her bail set at $320,000 for aggravated sexual assaults of five Houston students. From the picture in the paper, it looks like she will be getting jail time. Her hair is brown, her last name is not Anglo, and she's not hot. If she were Debra LaFave, she'd only spend a couple of hours in jail before being let off the hook with an apology full of batted eyelashes.

My only question is: why are they charging her for giving a boy oral sex? Former President Clinton has demonstrated that oral sex barely qualifies as sex. And don't give me any of that "person in power abusing their authority" crap. Clinton proved that doesn't exist either.

Had she been wearing a Christian burka, exposing only her eyes, she would be a free woman today. But no! She had to flirt with the boys in her class.

In related news, Johnny Gonzales, who "Clintoned" two of the boys himself, had his court date set for January 12. And they say there are no family values any more.