Saturday, July 23, 2005

For the last few weeks, as I drift off to sleep after a long, hard day, i'll be jolted out of my pre-sleep drowse by a pain in my tongue.

Apparently, as I relax into sleep my jaw opens, and the side of my tongue slips between the teeth. Then, as I drift off, I clench my jaws together, pincing my tongue.

On the inside of my mouth, I must look lie some sort of retreiver with my tongue dangling on one side or other of my mouth.

What I don't understand is why it started in the last few weeks? When you turn 43, do the muscles in your mouth that control your tongue when your asleep go away? Kind of like the "Where's the remote? Who the hell put it here?" gene disappears from your brain.

Getting old sucks. I used to run to my car from the office when it was raining. Now I walk. It takes too long to get up if I fall down.


Blogger Pikkel Weezel said...

Just have a tonguectamy, once it is gone, you wont bite it anymore and your wife will appreciate the new quieter you.

8:46 AM  
Blogger Cancergiggles said...

You're 43 for not 93! There are remedies however. Get so drunk you can't feel the pain (slight downside in that your wife will leave you becasue of the snoring) - don't sleep - superglue your tongue to the roof of your mouth - drink liquid nitrogen just before bedtime - have your teeth removed or filed down to stumps. Life is full of possibilities, you just need to look.


11:04 AM  

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