Thursday, July 27, 2006

Coming back from vacation is hard work! Once I unpacked, I opened the local paper and tried to catch up on what had happened while I was gone. A local man had driven to Houston to have sex with a 14 year-old girl, only to discover the 14 year-old girl was an armed man in his 40s.

Yet another idiot who doesn't watch the news.

Let me repeat this again:

  1. Fourteen year-old girls who want to have sex with 30 year old men are like a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian; Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They are figments of your imagination. They are like unicorns. They don't exist.
  2. If you find a 14 year-old girl in a chatroom who wants to have sex with you, she's a male cop.
  3. If you arrange to meet said 14 year-old for sex, you are an idiot. And Idiots are often met by a large number of armed law enforcement officials.
  4. Your ISP knows where you live. They keep track of what sites you visit. Your ISP, like phone companies, has no problem turning over their info on you to the authorities.

People have asked me if this applies to boys.

No. Fourteen year-old boys will have sex with farm animals. And hot blonde teachers. And if they score with the hot blonde teacher, they will be bragging about it in the locker room. Fourteen year-old girls who have sex with adults, on the other hand, are often manipulated and shamed into it. A guy'll just drop his pants.

All of the above flies out the window as the girls enter high school. Many of the girls I went to high school with wanted a boyfriend in college: someone older. And a teacher or coach fresh from college is close enough to their own age to be interesting. Which explains Bob Reno's BadJocks.com content.

So, men, what have we learned? Fantasize all you want. Right now, at least, it isn't illegal to think something (unless you hit someone of a different race, gender, or sexual orientation than you--then what you think is a crime). KEEP IT IN YOUR HEAD! Once you put it on paper, type it into a search engine, or download it from the 'Net it magically transforms itself from porn into evidence.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Kyle Korleski said...

Yeah, I know that trip. I worked for a company as their IT guy and they had asked me to find out all the times people were accessing (or trying to access) porn on the company network. Over 87,321 access attemps. Woah.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Alanita said...

You've got some good points there, buddy! Too bad the USA is infested with an idiot problem. Their horniness section of the brain rules over the logic and reason section.

8:16 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home