Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Praise Jebus! Some one is finally reading the rest of the Bible like they read Genesis Chapter One!

The First Baptist Church in Watertown, New York has finally gotten around to reading the Bible--you know, the 100% true, un-challenegable, and must be obeyed so don't teach evolution, Word of God--and fired Mary Lambert, who has been disobeying the Lord since 1946! She was a Sunday School teacher who...who.... The sin is so horrible that I cannot wrap my mind around it. She taught men.

The upstart sinner had been violating 1 Timothy 2:11-13: 11) A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12) I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13) For Adam was formed first, then Eve.

"I was astonished, absolutely astonished to pick up and read that kind of a letter without being talked to ahead of time about the possibility," whined sinner Lambert. "I've had a number of calls from people within the church being as astonished at the letter as I was, and the community at large seems to be at various sides that this could happen," she said, indicating mass blasphemy in the church.

Look, Sinners, the Lord said that women should not teach men, so they may not teach men. Just like Intelligent Design, it's that simple.

May Jebus bless the pastor of the Watertown First Baptist Church.

UPDATE

The pastor of Waterford First Baptist Church has modified his position, and is now sitting on the edge of the bed with the Devil, not actually in it. Tim LaBouf, also a city council member in Watertown, N.Y., said women could fulfill any role or responsibility they wanted to -- outside the church.

Now this flies in the faith, I mean, face of orthodoxy that holds that the "facts" of Intelligent Design must be taught outside of church, in public schools. The truth of the Bible must be spread!

LaBouf said that he does believe that women should not teach men in church, but added that there were other reasons for firing Lambert that he will not reveal in public.

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