The Spanish-American War is Over! The Spanish-American War is Over!

Signalling the end of America's longest running war, Congress ended the temporary 3% excise tax on long distance phone calls imposed in 1898 as a luxury tax on wealthy Americans who owned telephones to fund the war! After all, Congress wouldn't take money earmarked for one thing and use it for another, would it?

That's right, kiddies. A tax that lasts 110 years is only temporary in Washington. I'd hate to see a permanent tax!

Gotta run! The ticker tape parade honoring the heroes of the war is starting soon, and. . .

Aww. Never mind. They're dead.

"We have been working for years on behalf of our customers to eliminate this outdated and regressive tax," Bob Ingalls, president of Verizon's Retail Markets Group, said in a statement. "This is a good first step in alleviating consumers' telephone tax burden."

Rumor is that Howard Dean is working on a strongly worded statement condemning the action as tax relief for the rich, and will promise that when Democrats are elected to power, this luxury tax will be reimposed to ensure that the rich pay their fair share! Rich, in this case, being defined as anyone who can afford a cell phone. you know, like anyone who owns a house and sells it for a profit is rich. Like that.