Friday, August 04, 2006

Calling all Christian Soldiers - To War!

It is time to respond to the heresy of the Flying Spaghetti monster! I urge all citizens of Jebusistan to pray for a slow, painful death for the creator of this mockery!

Matthew 5:39 says "But I tell you not to try to get even with a person who has done something to you. When someone slaps your right cheek, turn and let that person slap your other cheek." Unlike Genesis, which is 100% true and cannot be argued against, Matther 5:39 is merely a suggestion and open to interpretation. It does not say to tolerate mockery and heresy.

Therefore, I interpret Matthew 5:39 to apply only in the context of physical violence. If someone mocks Jebus, the Lord demands, in Numbers 31:3, "Arm some of your men to go to war against the Midianites and to carry out the LORD's vengeance on them." And by Midianites, the Lord means the Flying Spaghetti Monster creator.

FATWAH!

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