Today we celebrate the birth of Santa with presents delivered by Jebus and placed in front of the Nativity Tree.
What do you mean I have it backwards? We must be celebrating Santa's birth. He's on every house, in every store, and every can of Coke. Jebus is only in front of churches. If Jebus was the reason for the season, we wouldn't spend ourselves into the poor house buying ipods and ugly sweaters, or gorge ourselves on more food that we normally eat in a week. We'd feed to poor, or provide for the homeless. And aren't we going to church to thank Jebus for all the cool presents?