Wednesday, April 03, 2013

North Carolina to Declare an Official Religion

A couple of Tealiban State Representatives of North Carolina have introduced a bill that would give the state the ability to declare an official religion.

That's right! North Carolina wants an official religion just like Iran and the people who took down the Twin Towers!

Part of the nullification wave, this law reads, "The North Carolina General Assembly does not recognize federal court rulings which prohibit and otherwise regulate the State of North Carolina, its public schools, or any political subdivisions of the State from making laws respecting an establishment of religion."

Nowhere does it say which religion will be official, just that they can make a religion official.  While I'm sure that religion will be Christianity, I'm not sure which flavor it will be.  Southern Baptists are the largest group in North Carolina, with 1.5 million adherents. Methodist follow at a little over 600,000 and Lutherans clock in at about 300,000. The other religions (Catholics, evangelicals, Muslims, etc) claim about 857,000 faithful. (Actual numbers are here, in case you think I'm talking out of my ass.)

So, since there will be an official religion (probably a Baptist/Methodist/Lutheran composite to keep the remainder of the riffraff in line), the state could say only members of those faiths can hold office. You know, in the same way that you can only use English in government, since that's the official language.

The government of North Carolina will be spending millions to defend it in the legal system. Apparently, North Carolina has a budget surplus.  Who knew?


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