Thursday, June 14, 2007

Praise Gaia and her anointed profits The Goreacle and Tom Brokaw. Hah-Men! Beloved, we are gathered here to worship at the Global Warming Alter, and to smite those non-believers and those who disagree with us. Remember only we have the right to Free Speech. Everyone else must be shouted down and belittled. Now on to the latest news;

Here's a story that proves that if Americans switch over florescent light bulbs, the world won't get cleaner. The Chinese will just destroy the largest nation on the planet, screwing us all. Help us, Goreacle. Fly to China and save us! Tell them that it's America's fault.

And that organic produce you buy? You know. The stuff that's better for the environment? Turns out it's not so good for the environment. The "pollution" (their word, not mine) created by the planes, ships and trains that transport the produce from Mexico and South America offset much of the benefit or organic production. But since that produce doesn't come from the United States, it evens things out because it's less evil.

And to close out this week's "Global Warming is real, and if you don't shut up I'll put out my joint, take of my iPod and get out of my car to kick your ass. 'Cause, you know, I believe in non-violence and live and let live" roundup, the EPA has cited 73 biofuel plants (61% of them) for environmental violations. Since Greenpeace isn't protesting, I have to assume that creating pollution to make a less polluting fuel is okay.

Remember, Beloved, to convert as many heathen as you can. Make sure they cite "many peer reviewed studies" because it's easier than thinking for themselves.

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