I don't know how people north of the Red River do it. Hell, I'm not sure I know how people north of Llano River do it.

We had an artic cold front blow through this week, plunging the temperatures into the teens at night. Someone in Colorado posted the temp there proudly. Thirteen below zero, the sign read. And the person wrote, "That's why I moved here. I grew up in the South."

Well, sir, I'm happy that you're happy, but I'd rather endure a Southern winter than a Colorado winter. Anything below 40 is just too darn cold for me.