A writer recently became the first person to patent a story.

Here's the plot:

The fictitious story, which Knight dubs “The Zombie Stare,” tells of an ambitious high school senior, consumed by anticipation of college admission, who prays one night to remain unconscious until receiving his MIT admissions letter. He consciously awakes 30 years later when he finally receives the letter, lost in the mail for so many years, and discovers that, to all external observers, he has lived an apparently normal life. He desperately seeks to regain 30 years’ worth of memories lost as an unconscious philosophical zombie.

The MPAA must be filling the cup, as Jay might say, right about now. Now, they can patent their storylines and make even more money for the crap they put out.

Steve Tilley, of the Edmunton Sun, wrote of the storyline, "It's a male version of 13 Going On 30. It's Fry from Futurama, give or take 970 years. It's Rip Van Freakin' Winkle - with a lot of sleepwalking. Hey dude, Washington Irving called and he wants his story back." And he is treatening to patent his story idea "about an unknown screenwriter who takes on the Hollywood establishment, and sells a script to a Spielberg-type director just by applying for a patent on it."

I need to patent something: How about I patent graduating from High School? I could get rich!