Let's see if I understand this: Avian flu hasn't exploded among the world's human population, but it's going to.

You know what this reminds me of? The whole Y2K thing. During all of 1999, the media told us over and over again how power plants were going to fail, planes were going to fall out of the air, and cats and dogs would start living in sin.

On New Year's Eve, I watched the late Peter Jennings host ABC's coverage of the arrival of the Millenium. After a year of preaching "The sky is falling," he actually said that since so many had cancelled their holiday plans, huddling in their bunkers and awaiting Armageddon, he was glad we took the time to join ABC as they usher in the New Year. Turns out, Y2K was a rating ploy by the networks to get us to stay home and watch TV.

Watching the Media trace the progress of the disease, I'm sure they are already scouring the country for elderly people to profile, so they can have a year end retrospective of who the avian flu killed. If the local news channel is interviewing your grandma, that's why.

It's Business As Usual for the Media. This is the latest EARTH SHATTERING CRISIS™ that they are using to sell ads to deodorant and drug companies.

To quote Fark: "In light of the avian bird flu hype, MSNBC asks if your Thanksgiving turkey is safe. EVERYBODY PANIC!" The story points out that the flu is not in the United States. Meanwhile, ABC is actually comparing the avian flu "pandemic" to the Holocaust.

Of course, the best story out of this whole tempest in a teapot was on Yahoo! News. Bush is a poor leader, because he wasn't trying to head off avian flu five years ago!

Since Bush is simultaneously the stupidest man on the planet, and the greatest criminal mastermind on the planet, I got to wondering: What did Über-Genius John Kerry promise to do about avian flu? 'Cause the implication is, the Democrats had a plan, but because Bush got elected, they're not gonna tell us what it is.