Some days I wake up and wonder how people manage to remember how to breathe in the morning.

This week, the local police arrested a 23 year old man for arranging a meeting with what he thought was a 13-year-old girl.

Apparently, this guy hasn't been watching the news. Every night, there's a story about someone who gets arrested for arranging to have sex with a minor, only to realize, waay too late, that it was a sting.

So, as a public service for all you pedophiles out there, I want you tell you something:

There are no 13-year-olds on the Internet waiting to have sex with 40 year-old men! There are, however, hordes of cops waiting to arrest 40 year-old men who want to have sex with 13-year-old girls! Here's what your "13-year-old honey" looks like:

Imagine the scene: You saunter into the local Mooby's to meet your 13-year-old playmate. You seat yourself at the appointed table, and suddenly, dozens of police cars squeal into the parking lot, the cashier leaps across the counter like Luke Duke across the hood of the General Lee, and the people at all the other tables stand, draw their guns and all yell "FREEZE, DIRTBAG!"

You want to fantasize about having sex with a 13-year-old? Fine! Keep it in your head! Today, thoughts aren't a crime. This, however, is subject to change. Watch this space.