After buying the ingredients for dinner last night, I carted my groceries out to the car. I follwed a big, strapping guy. His shoulders were so wide, that in order to touch his waist, he had to bend his elbows 90 degrees. He walked with his chest thrust out, and his shoulders rolling up and down. Ladies two counties over were watching this guy, his testosterone was so powerful.

The car he drove matched his virility. It was a big, four door diesel pickup, that, when started, sounded like a hundred people growling. As he put his groceries into his car, I walked past to find my car. I had parked next to a small Chevy. But when I came out, I discovered that the small Chevy had been replaced by two shopping carts. I cursed under my breath at people too effing lazy to put their carts up. Afterwards, I walked two slots down from my car to the cart corral, and dropped off my basket. When I got back to my car, I was parked next to three shopping carts! And the big, burly, brawny guy was walking four space up to get in his truck!

Imagine the scene, if you will: Directly across from this space full of carts, in the next parking lot row, was a half full cart corral. Three spaces down from the store was another one. Big, burly guy had taken the first space on the row, and was closer to the front of the store than to my car. So what does he do? He walks to the space next to my car where two carts already have been abandoned, and leaves his cart! I guess the extra few feet to the cart corral was too far.

Not only that, he had parked the cart a mere four inches from the side of my car. I guess he thought I was the designated cart putter upper.

I am writing my congressman and city councilman. I want stores that use carts to build fences around their sidewalks so that carts cannot get into the parking lot. A rider on the new law will make it a crime to park in front of the store to load. That way people will have to walk back and forth to their cars. I figure that after a year or so of that, they won't mind a short hike down to the cart corral.