Silly Republicans, Tricks are for Kids!

I got the 2012 Presidential Platform Survey in the mail today.  I was going to send it back, but figured that since the $15 survey processing fee wasn't going to be enclosed (Don't ask me to pay to take a survey. I've been on the Internet. We get paid to take surveys!)

I thought I would share some of my answers and comments I cribbed in the margins:

2. How important is it to voters in your state [I didn't comment here, but is the Republican Party suggesting I should become a pollster?] to give attention to the following issues during the 2012 campaigns?

...Stimulating job creation in the private sector - I chose not important and added a note: "According to Republican critics of every Obama jobs plan, Government can't create jobs. Obama cuts business taxes=unconstitutional! Obama emphasizes hiring veterans=government interference in the private sector."

...Reigning in government employees' unions - I chose not important. "You can't change the rules after the fact. But if Congress were willing to take pay cuts, I could go along with it."

...Demanding Free and open trade to get US manufacturing growing - I chose not important. "Ross Perot was right.  NAFTA created a giant sucking sound as American manufacturing jobs left the United States for the sake of profit.  And how many Sallys and Bobs do you talk to on the phone sound like Apu from the Simpsons?  Companies will take jobs away from high paid Americans and give them to Indians in a heart beat if they can increase profits."

4. Do you believe Congress should block President Obama's efforts to raise the Federal debt ceiling and demand real cuts to Federal spending? - I chose yes and added, "Cut Congressional pay, end automatic pay raises and let the voters decide what to pay you. If the voters are that important.  . ."

...8. Do you support a Federal Balanced Budget Amendment to the US Constitution to stop deficit spending in Washington? - I chose yes and added, "But you'll still figure out ways to get around it and get a million bucks to that toe nail museum in your hometown."

...31. Should the national Republican Party only support candidates who adhere to our conservative principles of low taxes, small government, strong values and unwavering defense of our Constitutional freedoms? I chose yes and added "You forgot big corporations. fundamentalist Christians and Super PACs. Although, I guess strong values does equal fundies.  And if by defending our Constitutional freedoms you mean ripping them to shreds with the Patriot Act and Citizens United, then the answer is 'Hell no'."

...32. Do you believe the national Republican Party needs to stay out of primaries and allow Republican voters in local districts and states to make their own educated decisions about who should represent them? I chose yes, and added, "Let corporations decide! They're people!"