Friday, April 22, 2011

In Oregon, a 16 year old student doing some community service with a third grade class, had the idea to put jelly beans in plastic eggs and let the kids hunt for them.  The teacher in charge of the class okayed the activity, as long as the 16 year old use the term "Easter Eggs."  (It was Spring Break, after all.  Easter was 6 weeks away.) So they were called "Spring Spheres."

Somewhat obviously, I have a few problems with this.

First, we are now teaching children that eggs are spheres, like the globe of the Earth in the classroom.  Eggs aren't spherical, they are ovoid.  Granted, "Spring Ovoid" hunt doesn't have the snap of Spring Spheres, but at least it's more accurate. Why teach the domesticated yard apes wrong word?  Why go to all the trouble to obfuscate what the little curtain climbers are hunting?  They're hunting eggs.  Call it a "Spring Egg Hunt."  At least the little cretins will know what they are looking for.

Second, an egg hunt is a Christian tradition.  If you're concerned about non-Christians being offended, why have the children participate in that Christian tradition but call it by another name?   How would you feel if a Public School followed the Hannukah traditions in her class, but called it something else, like "Late Fall Candle Lighting"?  How about not having an egg hunt, instead?

Third, when I was a kid, we hunted Easter Eggs on, you know, like, EASTER!  The Easter Bunny, like Santa does his deliveries all in one day.  Having an Easter Egg, I mean, "Spring Sphere" hunt before Easter devalues Easter, and by extension, diminishes Christ, doesn't it?

The sixteen year old volunteer should have just organized a session of Red Rover, and no one would have gotten all worked up.

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