I hate Spring Break. Mainly because I work in the service sector. And the long I work in the service sector, the more I realize that people are idiots.

During the rest of the year, when someone books one of our guesthouses we send them a map. Which they leave at home and tell us they never received. We get lots of exercise walking from the front desk back to the filing cabinet where we store our maps and then back to the front desk.

During Spring Break, the mouthbreathers' (as described in Clerks 2) collective IQ drops another 50 or 60 points. We get calls like this: "There will be two adults and four kids and we need two queen beds. . . . What do you mean you charge for children if they bring their own bedding?" Or like this: "I'm just getting into town. Where are you?" (Which brings up the question of how these morons traveled in the days before cell phones.) Or like this: "Spring break isn't a holiday. Why are you charging holiday rates? What do you mean you don't you have any openings? It's Spring Break and I want to spend it in Fredericksburg!"

I shared my thoughts with a friend who works in a retail store on Main Street. She said, " I was up to my armpits with mouth-breathers today. As they left the store, I wanted to say, “thank you for coming in, testing all of our lotions, picking up every fucking thing that was not nailed to the floor – just to see how much it is and not buying a damn thing. Have a fucking nice day!”

I hate to borrow from Kevin Smith again, but just because we have to serve you doesn't mean we like you.