Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Hmm. Wal-Mart is going to take on Target, eh? Wal-Mart is going upscale, eh? Where will the trailer folks, like Large Marge Hayes, shop now?

I went to the Super Wal-Mart in Kerrville the other day, and it seemed like every easy woman who had dropped out of high school (maybe even junior high school) in the surrounding counties was there, with her three kids (her youngest wearing only a diaper and a smudge of dirt across the chest). Extremely large women were hanging around the shorts section, but to be fair, so were the really large men. But at least they were looking at baggy shorts, not Daisy Dukes. Everyone man back in the automotive section was wearing a ball cap with either the Confederate Flag or Dale Earnhardt's number on it.

In typical large store fashion, only a third of the checkout lanes were open (in accordance with the complicated mathematical formula where the managers counts the number of occupied spaces in the parking lot, divides it by the number of open spaces, then divides everything by thirty-five; then he takes the number of checkout lanes in the store and divides that by the first number to see how many lanes he should open), forcing long waits behind a family as Mama explained to Joe Bob that if he could get the gum in his pocket, he wouldn't have to pay for it. And of course, as one left, one had to step around young Joe Bob as he was being wrestled to the ground by the "Poe-lice" while Mama screamed "Let go my baby! Let go my baby!"

It's like a car wreck. You have to stop and look when you drive by.


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