I work for a guesthouse and bed and breakfast reservation service. I am constantly amazed at the number of people (mostly women) who spend two days examining every available property available for their one night stay. You would think they're buying the houses, or their burial plots.

These last few weeks have been particulary difficult, because we keep getting calls that go like this:

ME: How many people?
THEM: We need two rooms.
ME: How many people?
THEM: We want a place in the country with sweeping, panoramic views. We don't want anyone on the property (We don't want to see anyone), and we want a full breakfast.
ME: Well, if you want a full breakfast, someone has to go out there and serve it.
THEM: Oh! We don't want that!

The last few days, we've been getting these calls:

THEM: I want a place with a whirlpool tub. Romantic. You know?
ME: Great! I've got this and this.
THEM: Great! There will be me and my spouse and our three kids.
ME (thinking):Would you like all the kids' beds in a circle around the whirlpool tub?

And my favorite exchange:

ME: The price is $100 a night for two, and $20 for each additional person.
THEM: You CHARGE for CHILDREN?
ME: Yes.
THEM: The Holiday Inn doesn't.
ME (thinking): Then call the freakin' Holiday Inn!

I hate Spring Break.