To: The Greeting card industry
cc: The chocolate industry, the jewelry industry
bcc: victoria's secret
SUBJECT: Missing the Valentine's Day boat

Sirs:

You owe a responsibility to your stockholders to increase profits, right? Then why don't we have White Day? In Japan (and Korea), on February 14, the girls give chocolates to their guys. Then on March 14th, the guys have to reciprocate. White Day is said to have started in the 60s by a marshmallow company. Do I have to paint you a picture here? You guys are asleep at the switch.

Imagine it: Big candy and card days in February and in March. And then there's Easter! You know: the day when we celebrate the arrival of a white bunny carrying colorful hardboiled eggs, and tons of chocolate! Oh, and we go to church for the first of two annual visits.

Think of the money that could be made if there was a White Day here! Think of the cash sitting in people's wallets that could be in your coffers. Why are you just sitting there? Remember, the American people are nothing more than voracious consumers, and you're giving them a month off. Shame on you!

Korea even has a day in April for unattached folks, called Black Day. On that day, sad, single people get together and eat black noodles, hence the name of the day. We could probably change that to Alcohol Day for the guys, and Ice Cream in Bed Day for the gals.